When you step into the inconceivable, it steps into you and then all bets are off.
There is a prediction made by Padmasambhava in the 10th century AD that at a certain point the legendary city of Shambhala would be rediscovered and the Forces of Light would issue forth against the Forces of Darkness and Ignorance, and a new Golden Age would be born.
This Charge of the Light Brigade would be led by Gesar of Ling, the enlightened king, who liberated people with his sword on the battlefield. There are tales of Padmasambhava doing the same thing when he found people whose consciousness was too degraded to absorb the Teachings. It was better for these people to die by the hands of a Realised Being, than carry on with their lives continuing to incur bad karma.
Not your average version of happy, rice eating, Buddhist monks but then both Gesar and Padmasambhava were fully Liberated and thus “beyond rebuke”. They say that the actions of Buddha’s are inconceivable because they are running on a different frequency to ordinary people and are thus beyond normal conceptual and behavioural structures and values.
This sounded like a fine legend to build something around, so I began assembling my Army of Light to combat Ignorance of the Nature of the Mind. Wasn’t this just the funky combat version of the bodhisattva vow of liberating all sentient beings? The word bodhisattva means ‘Enlightenment Warrior’ and what better to war against than Ignorance of the Nature of the Mind. Warriors go to war, at least in every fantasy novel I had ever read. I styled myself as General Max Zerbu, my personal homage to the Tibetan practice of “nailing down” all the things you like, don’t like and are indifferent to on the journey to the Body of Light.
The time had come for the resurrection of the old legends, breathing life into it, making them our own in the most heroic cross-pollination of mythology ever seen. It is the Kali Yuga after all and everything comes out to play. If ‘everything is Self’ then so too are all the legends, there to be reinvented, transformed and played with mercilessly.
Nothing less could be expected from the Buddha Brats. Line up the army, organize supplies, get everyone in line, kick back and wait for the final curtain call. Where it led was truly inconceivable yet pure Crazy Wisdom at its most deranged. Those who could see and feel it were the ones who were going to be there at the end and those who could not would not suffer. Everybody wins but the lucky get to keep their personalities and be part of the crew which remade reality in their own image. Would we have it any other way? I think not.
One of the first Riders that showed up for duty was a Kama. *Jerry, a neurotic Dragon was sufficiently infused with the joys of my skill that he once paid for Kama to come see me. Kama is the name of a Hindu god of love but at the time I thought it was Karma. To be able sit across from someone and call her Karma amused me endlessly - I would have treated her for free with a name like that. We became fast friends and it wasn’t long before it was clear that she was Buddha Brat through and through.
I soon entrusted her with a range of my remedies to experiment with on the bunch of hapless hippies she lived with. It just felt right to give her a full armoury to experiment with on reality at large. And play she did, dosing the tea of every poor bastard who came through her door. I explained the ‘free will’ clause to her but she chose to interpret it that since they were arising in her reality she had carte blanche to dose them as she saw fit. It was her decision and one does not question the actions of Dakini beyond a certain point. She earned her badge anyway by always being willing to perpetually push herself into the deep dark holes of her mind, getting stung by the scorpions in her psyche and then coming out with the gems.
In order to understand Kama you have to understand her remedies which are Swan, Praying Mantis, Sun Spider, a few of the snakes and Turquoise. Swan has the ugly duckling feel to it and it cured that feeling. This contrasted with the Sun Spider which has no venom but can run 40km/h and literally tears its victims apart with its large crablike claws. The Mantis devours its mate and the Turquoise prevents injury and deals with feelings of injustice from the world. When you throw all these together you get an idea of what a strange creature she was - very active, tearing reality and often people apart with her mental pincers yet with a good and very playful heart underneath.
Kama was also part of the planning committee for the water supply job so she always has a special place in my heart. Kama and *Anreal were both Metal Monkeys and I have always had great trust in the Crazy Wisdom skills of Monkeys. Maybe it is narcissism or maybe it is as they say - that Monkeys are the geniuses of the group. They were both fiercely loyal and with sufficient awareness to command and gather more troops, so Kama was my captain and Anreal was appointed as my personal aide and in charge of Special Forces. Thor was the sergeant at arms while *Ming and *Fener were lieutenants with their own troops. *Luc was running his own show and *Athena couldn’t easily be cast in any role, except as an equal and she was also running her own show with her own cadre.
The thing that unites the Buddha Brats beyond a shared vision is our wilfulness and unwillingness to be told what to do. We are the original group of anarchists resenting any intrusion in our reality from much of anyone. It is precisely this characteristic that allows us to throw off ‘the chains that bind’, making us so determined not to become slaves to Conditioning. Not to say that we aren’t proud, or in Buddhist speak full of Vajra Pride. I had often been accused of being arrogant, but when you know you know and need no excuses to justify your existence.
We all just play our parts and one of mine was to ensure that the Army of Light was in top psychological condition. I determinedly dosed those around me, bringing them to full flower so everyone would be fighting fit for the trials that were to come. Perfect from the start and it was my pleasure if the truth be told, nothing could bring me greater satisfaction. That was part of my function after all, saving the day, swooping in to do some combat homoeopathic surgery on my Vajra brothers and sisters, the finest individuals in creation
When your reality exceeds your fantasy by a scale of millions, you have truly arrived. If you are going to play it, play it in the mode of Epic Reality with no time to come up for air. We even spent time designing our wardrobe for the final event, nothing would be left to chance or lack of style - the suave police are always on duty. Of course one cannot live in this space permanently, but it is the juice that feeds the soul and makes life worth living, slowly transforming reality into living mythology. What then is not possible?
Girding myself in the armour of the Dharmakaya (Great Ocean of Awareness), strapping on my diamond sword, I would sally forth and let the chips fall where they may. Things can never be the same when the stuff of childhood fantasy becomes daily life and all you can do is just follow your instinct and let things play out as they will. I had gone so far beyond my dreams that I was in truly uncharted territory. This is not to say that I was never assailed by Doubt. Living the magical mystery tour and interfacing with reality can get a bit schizoid at the best of times but I had my toolbox of ‘reality tweakers’ in nicely labelled bottles, which helped to keep mine and everyone else’s show on the road.
In the beginning I bent my head well out of shape trying to figure out the logistical details of numbers and allegiances, trying to figure out who was on the final roster. Then it started becoming a strain and an effort so I just let it go. I gave up trying to figure out where it went or who I was becoming, all I knew was that it felt so incredibly right that I was compelled to follow it.
Like with many things when you let go it forms up again, perfectly and effortlessly. Dakini would work out the details, the fine tuning, the colour coding and the timeline. All I had to do was front up to my own movie and play it to the max, in the mood of dementertainment. I stopped worrying about which road to turn down, jumped into the back of the car and enjoyed the view whilst being driven through reality. Full ‘nuclear powered holiday till D day’ - the movie had changed forever from suffering in Samsara to kicking back in the Pure Lands, waiting for the final trumpet to sound.
Then *Gesar arrived…. The spearhead I was waiting for. To galvanize everyone into action he started up a café called “Shambhala - the Restaurant at the End of the Universe” and I simply could not resist. Playing out the legend in real time, I gave him my full support and some personal training in my particular brand of energy weaponry. In return he fed me Iboga and I got to see the Vajra Chains, the matrix of reality from which everything is constructed. The Dzogchen Teachings say “stare into the form of the Vajra Chains and all will be revealed”. I saw long lines of snakelike runes weaving reality into form, possibly the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Iboga is a substance made from the bark of the root of the Iboga tree. It is considered to be the most powerful hallucinogen in the world with a trip that lasts up to 48 hours. It is used as a rite of passage by Gabonese youths because it aids in revealing ones purpose. It clears cellular memory and enhances and repairs the relationship within ones Ancestral Lineage.
I put in the intent for the 64 Million Dakini Tantras, hoping to get a few if I was lucky. What occurred surprised even me. Millions of little packets, like library cards, started downloading onto my body. Not wanting to lose these precious Tantras I ripped the meat off my skeleton and a giant spray gun appeared with which I proceeded to burn the Tantras onto my bones in a shade of metallic orange paint. With the information secured on my skeleton, I proceeded to play. Each time I took out one of these library cards a butterfly would appear and as I blew gold dust over it, it would bring into form a rock, or a tree, or quite simply any organic thing in creation. What to do with this kind of power, literally the power of world creation by breathing things into life?
The next vision was from inside a planetary core where I was sitting and constructing a new world, while people looked on applauding - heady stuff. This was followed by a vision of some backwater planet when a farmer, his wife and two daughters came up to me, proceeding to request designer specifications for their own little planet, naturally I obliged. Definitely no precedents for this, but then I remembered that I had put a request in for the 64 million Dakini Tantras when I raised and dissolved my Kundalini eight years before. Some wishes just take longer to come into form.
Gesar and I were like left hand and right hand. Where he was peaceful I was wrathful, and where I was peaceful he was wrathful and between the two of us few sentients could escape. His thing was re-establishing the grids, complementing my newfound skills of world creation. One of his main goals was to get everyone to pay attention to the detail and the beauty available to us, those fractions in a moment which can quite literally transform any instant into a magical display. He would make altars of everything everywhere he went, it was his nature and it showed people the right way to live. A life existing in delirious reverence for all of existence, a flawless expression of One Taste meets Discriminating Wisdom. He came from a more shamanic base than I did but the fusion of our skills spawned some truly astounding new materializations.
I created a new remedy from tears of joy, mine and *Lisa’s (Gesar’s principle student). The tears of joy I cried were a pure expression of the exuberant artistry inherent in each moment and the treasure of having a fellow warrior along for the ride – something which all too often had been a rather solo affair, especially from a male side.
I also made a remedy from the blood of the World Tree in the forest where I unbound the titans. I mixed my own blood with some of its sap and spent two hours in spasms, my body realigning into the necessary energetic format for all my wishes to take form.
Deeper and deeper into the void I travelled, way out on a limb, cruising through my own mind space with no reference points, what more could one do than continue deeper down the spiral. As my one friend used to say in Afrikaans: “Klim in!” or “Klim uit!” to indicate when and whether one should in fact climb in or out of the rabbit holes appearing in ones psyche. Of course, any rabbit hole is worth exploring, but then some realities are more beautiful than others.
Gesar certainly encouraged my Crazy Wisdom as I encouraged his, egging each other on to greater heights, consuming anything and everything we could get our hands on with no thought to the consequences. Existing without reference points certainly has its advantages if one can hold onto ones sanity while scouring the void. If the mind space could crack then it needed to be cracked and so we tested ourselves and came out of the abyss stronger than when we went in.
Gesar’s arrival hailed the recreation and activation of Shambhala. He then proceeded to demolish it and moved on. Restricting Shambhala to a single location would have been the same as getting stuck in one form and the whole point is to be free from all binding concepts, including the dualities of Space and Time. The ‘play of form’ which is the Dance of Dakini, can and must be engaged, but always with the knowledge that it is just dancing light.
If you’re not living your dreams right now, what the f*ck are you doing? It is not going to get better in the future if it is not good right now. We make our futures through how we are living This Moment and if you are waiting for it to get better, you might wait a long time, if not forever. It will always be This Moment, and even when the future arrives it is still the present.
It is after all your reality and will you make your own movie a soap opera or a heroic fantasy? The Teachings need to be recast in a modern setting, shaped in your own image because a lot of what was written was for then and there and although the core remains the same, they need to be fashioned in a form accessible and suited to the modern mind.
Multiple sleeper agents are waiting to take up the reins and it often just takes a spark, the right key as it were, to unlock their dormant potential – *Lucy is a case in point. She was a former exotic dancer who I treated initially as a patient but we soon became friends. Before long I took her to the World Tree to initiate raising her Kundalini. When we got there I watched as she settled into a niche between its roots. In that instant was born the vision of her as the World Serpent, foreordained to unbind the world as predicted in Norse mythology. Ironically she nuzzled into the third root, exactly where Jormungandr is traditionally depicted. The myth goes that when Jormungandr unbinds itself from the tree it will usher in Ragnorak, the Norse equivalent of the Apocalypse. This fitted in nicely with a vision I had during my Iboga session of being Loki, the Norse god of mischief and the father of the World Serpent.
Lucy was born in the year of the Fire Snake and her Mayan sign is the Red Solar Serpent. Perfection leaves nothing up to chance and this is indeed the time of living mythology. I stepped her training another notch, forging her into a living weapon. This was the final vision I had of her, a flaming arrow to be fired off into the heart of India to spread the Teachings and initiate the Unbinding of the World. Last time she checked in with me she had personally delivered a manuscript of this book to the Dalai Lama’s secretary in Daramsala. Who knows what the institution will make of it …
Things only come into being when they are actually needed and before that we play the game of reality masquerading as doctors, photographers, performance artists, writers, strippers or businessmen. Hiding in plain sight, protected by the sheer inconceivability of the whole thing, we were seeded throughout reality waiting for the final call, announcing the final destruction of Ignorance of the Nature of the Mind.
The truth regarding the legend of Shambhala is that it resides eternally in the hearts and minds of the Army of Light. It has always been up to me to train and gather the troops, and I have come to trust that the ‘who, what, when and where’ of it will all be revealed as the moment dictates.
For my part I am just playing out the role I was born to and those Buddha Brats who choose to join me on this adventure are as precious to me as my own rather battered heart.